May 2013
56 posts
what i actually said: i forgot
what my parents heard: i hate you and i am determined to fail at life, go to prison, and bring dishonor to this family. i care about nothing except my computer and tv shows and you can just go burn in hell for all i care. also i'm pregnant.
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
teacher: NO DON'T PACK UP WE STILL HAVE .00000007 SECONDS OF CLASS LEFT!
majortvjunkie:
calling my tears Netflix because they are streaming
whorizonwireless:
you are currently a ‘basic bitch’ please upgrade to ‘premium bitch’ for only 3 payments of $19.95
crutal:
crutal:
how do trees go on the internet?
they log in
apatheticghost:
my dad just yelled “IT SOUNDS LIKE YOURE MAKING OUT WITH SOMEONE YOU BETTER NOT HAVE A BOY IN THERE”
breadboxes:
LISTEN HERE U LITTLE SHIT i love u
crutal:
For some reason I own a du rag.
I’m an 18-year-old white girl.
vagisodium:
one time me and my friends were really high waiting at a stop sign and after like ten minutes he turns to me and he’s like “this is the longest stop sign ever”
justintheallan:
soycrates:
endreal:
avatar-addiction:
nicotineenema:
Shout out to girls who don’t mind being called dude and man casually
shout out to boys who don’t mind being called guuurrl
shout out to humans who don’t mind being called dawg
shout out to dogs who will let you call them anything so long as you say it in a happy, friendly tone.
Shout out to Guinea Pigs which...
oklou:
eating a sandwich and salad for dinner except instead of a sandwich its candy and instead of a salad i have no friends
